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Delaine Shay’s And Then, We Laughed: A Memoir of Hope & Healing is a raw account of resilience in the wake of tragedy. At just two years old, she lost her brother Billy when their father accidentally backed over him with a grain truck. This loss shaped her life, leaving her with deep survivor’s guilt and a lingering sense of unworthiness.
Shay reflects on personal trauma, family struggles, and the lasting scars of grief. Despite the weight of these hardships, she also finds moments of strength and humor. While the title suggests levity, the emotionally heavy memoir leans more into survival, faith, and perseverance. Still, Shay shows that laughter remains a vital tool in the journey toward healing.
My And Then, We Laughed book review:

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And Then, We Laughed Book Summary

And Then We Laughed by Delaine Shay is a raw and deeply personal memoir. The author takes readers through the emotional rollercoaster of tragedy, faith, and resilience. The book may have a title that hints at lightheartedness, but it is far from a comedic memoir. Instead, it delves into the weight of personal trauma, family struggles, and the deep scars that hardship leaves behind. Shay recounts her journey with honesty and vulnerability. She reveals how adversity shaped her and, ultimately, how she found strength, healing, and moments of humor along the way.
Themes of Loss and Healing:
Shay’s memoir reflects on deep personal tragedies, beginning with the devastating loss of her brother Billy and the survivor’s guilt that followed. She also grapples with the suicide of a cousin, health struggles, and questions about faith. Wondering why a loving God allows suffering, she turned to alcohol to cope. Yet, through the darkness, she ultimately found healing in faith.
Growing Up in Rural America:
Shay also shares memories of her childhood in Trent, South Dakota, during the 50s and 60s. She recalls 4th of July parades, her mother dancing to Elvis Presley in secret, and swimming in the town’s “swimming pool” (a spring-fed pond with occasional snapping turtle encounters). Along with these warm, nostalgic memories, Shay highlights societal views on mental health at the time. Struggles were often dismissed or stigmatized, and Shay’s memoir shows how she and her family coped—sometimes in unhealthy ways.
Faith, Laughter, and Resilience:
While the book focuses on tragedy, loss, and hardship, And Then We Laughed is ultimately about perseverance, faith, and laughter. Despite overwhelming challenges, the title reminds us that even in grief, there is room for joy and healing. Shay emphasizes how faith played a pivotal role in her journey. She recognizes God’s support during her darkest moments.
Delaine Shay, author:
Delaine Shay is the author of And Then We Laughed, a memoir about grief, faith, and resilience. Marked by early tragedy, she struggled with survivor’s guilt, addiction, and loss. She eventually found healing through faith and community. Now in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, she helps others navigate grief and recovery. As a speaker and advocate, she shares her journey with honesty, hope, and laughter.
Find Delaine here: Delaine Shay
Watch Delaine’s Interview about And Then, We Laughed on Keloland Living:

https://www.keloland.com/video/kll-ac-delaine-shay/8050376
Extra nuggets of book goodness:

- inspirational quotes leading each chapter:

- Books signed/autographed by the author are simply more awesome than regular copies!

Conclusion:
And Then We Laughed is a powerful, emotionally charged memoir that isn’t afraid to face the darkest parts of life. Delaine Shay’s courage in sharing her story of grief and eventual healing offers hope to those who have faced similar battles. The book is a testament to the importance of faith, laughter, and the resilience needed to move forward.

Have you read other memoirs that dive into tragedy and triumph? Share your recommendations in the comments below. I’d love to hear about the books that have moved you!

Scott Johnson is a Midwestern humorist, author of Essays Out of Left Field, and the mind behind scottjohnsonauthor.com. He’s also a husband, dad of three, and Data Systems Administrator (whatever that is). Scott is on a mission to find and read all the funny books. He shares his thoughts on those books, author life, and other delightful randomness with his readers on his website.