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I have a crucial message to share with you regarding gun safety for cats. And the dangers of drugs for your cats. And the importance of abstinence for your cats. Actually, there are so many critical lessons your cat needs to learn, you should probably just read my book review on “How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety and Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers that Threaten Their Nine Lives”. Yes, that is a really long book title.
How to Talk to Your Cats About Gun Safety Summary
This is a satirical/parody book poking fun at radical conspiracy theorist who over-dramatize perceived threats to humanity. Based on the title of the book, hopefully you assumed it was satirical. If you didn’t catch that until reading the book, you are exactly the type of person the book is poking fun at.
This book was published in October 2016. Does anyone remember what was happening in our country at that time? Any political leader or group of fanatical conspiracy theorists in the public eye during that time? I’m guessing this book was an appropriately timed response to that phenomenon.
Who is The American Association of Patriots?
According to their website, “We are an organization dedicated to defending our country, our Lord, and the most precious of all his creations: fluffy little kittens.” Does this sound like a group you would like to join? Unfortunately, it appears the Amerrican Association of Patriots is a satirical group responsible for writing this groundbreaking piece of literature about gun safety for cats. Or IS IT satirical? I’ll let you browse their website and decide for yourself:
Who is The American Association of Patriots
The REAL author of “How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety” is Zachary Auburn. Mr. Auburn apparently is not actively marketing his real identity, because despite this book’s massive success, he can scarcely be found in the Interwebs. Although Mr. Auburn is at least listed as the author on Amazon and other online book retailers. Maybe he wants to remain as anonymous as possible. Maybe the Liberal media or dog mafia is out to get him after exposing them. Whatever your reason, your secret is safe with me, Mr. Auburn. Me and the 11 other people that read this blog post.
Now onto the rating of “How to Talk to Your Cats About Gun Safety”
My innovative system for rating humor books is explained here
Wholesomeness Score: 3/5
Pretty clean language. But I can only consider it moderately wholesome due to the author’s BRUTAL emotional beatdown of poor radical, ultra-right-wing nut jobs. An although they likely deserve to be made fun of, I do find the satirical lashing a wee bit intense. Also a few sexual references in the book. And of course, firearms throughout.
Hilarity Score: 5/5
Sorry to my uber-Libertarian and extreme-far-right Conservative friends. This book is funny. It’s flooded with cat puns and waaaaay over the top satire poking fun at radical and fanatical political zealots. And lots of Photoshopped cat pictures in dangerous, yet fictitious situations.
A few quotes to give you a good idea of the style of humor:
“Americans and their homes are under attack. It is impurrative that, in order to ensure the future security of our country, every man, woman, child, and cat be able to defend our nation against the enemies of democracy.“
“It is frequently said that curiosity killed the cat, but what is often left unsaid is that the actual cause of death was the improper discharge of a firearm by a poorly trained feline.“
“…no age is too young to start introducing your cat to the benefits and responsibilities of gun ownership, but realistically, you should wait until at least a week after birth, when cats begin to open their eyes.”
“…American cats are Americans first and cats second.”
Overall Book Awesomeness Score: 4/5
Loved it. It was pretty predictable after reading the first few pages. But I committed to the deep, satirical lashing throughout the sections. It was funny, unserious and very easy to read. I think I gobbled it up in a single sitting.
Things I liked:
- Making fun of radical, racist, homophobic, conspiracy theorists
- Cats
- Puns
- Cat Puns
Things I didn’t like:
- The pictures were funny, but low quality. Like something I could do on a weekend with an iPhone 3 camera.
- Just a weeeee bit over the top at times.
- One could easily be offended by the extreme stereotyping and generalization of good God-fearing people. Not me, but “one” could be easily offended.
Conclusion: Final Thoughts on the Greatest Book About Gun Safety for Cats
This book is PURRfect for people wanting to take a break from serious commentary and deep thinking. If you’re anything but the absolute farthest right on the political spectrum, you’ll probably get a chuckle out of this book.
Just so you know – I could get an affiliate commission if you link from my site and buy a product. Hopefully, I’ll accumulate enough affiliate commission to buy myself a coffee someday! Not Starbucks or anything like that. But maybe a plain small coffee from a gas station on the outskirts of town.
I might regret this question, but…
What would the FAR POLITICAL LEFT version of “How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety and Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers that Threaten Their Nine Lives” be called? Leave a comment below. I may have to carefully moderate the responses…